OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
