perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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