so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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