I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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