I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
