I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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