You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
