just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
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I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
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So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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