2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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