So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
