haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
