So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
