And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I hate all girls vehemently.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
