I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
try to milk me bitch
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
