So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
