Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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