Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
