TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
