I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
