They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
