Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
