if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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