those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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