at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
