it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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