I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
