If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
