Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
