if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
