shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
