whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize