She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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