if only i could text you this smell
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
