So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
