How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
