Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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