i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
