And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
