Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
home. puking in laundry basket.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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