You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
