why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
