Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You ate ashes out of my bong
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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