rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
