batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club