Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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