I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
