dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
