if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
