Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
