I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
