The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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