He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
