yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
