I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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