dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
