I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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