would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So many bounce houses so little time
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
