Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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