is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
