If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
