oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
