I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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