New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
